Well. It's Thanksgiving and I'm stuck at home alone with a cold.
Also, my e-bike is grounded. I suspect the throttle. I hope it's just the throttle. I have opened up the controller and didn't see anything obviously awry. Next step is to find a voltimeter to test that throttle. Fortunately I found some technical advice online. I don't know any repair shops within 500 miles though (perhaps that could be a good business niche).
Sigh. On the plus side, my redneck fake-AeroGarden-in-an-aquarium is doing surprizingly well. I've even gotten a lot of cilantro to sprout! And there is a snow pea in there that is going nuts. I've strapped the aquarium's fluorescent light to a microphone boom stand.